A Crappy Form of Magic

This concept expands on an idea developed at the Bastionland Discord riffing based on comments from AwkardTurtle, CosmicOrrery based on an offhand comment from JasonT.

Crap Wizard:

You can smell the magic coming off of them before you see them. When you do see them, they are hanging around dank and dark dungeons rooting through the dried out excrement of long dead sorcerers or examining the freshly carved up intestines of a goblin shaman. People avoid them in the streets of the back water towns that will even let in someone as filthy as they are. 

Magic is filthy business when you have to pass a spellstone through a digestive system to recharge them to usefulness. Hedge wizards will use there own magical gastrointestinal tract to facilitate their spell casting but more refined Imperial Wizards will pay exorbitant fees for the process to be done for them in a booming and disgusting magical economy. Even darker, or more practical, magicians will cut the stones right out of your body to get at them.

Abilities: 

Crap Wizards have the ability to eat a spellstone. 1d6 hours later they excrete it fully charged and usable. 

You start with:

Strong smelling perfume or cologne

A spellstone with a random spell

Two vials of laxative

No shame

Crap Wizards can do some things to speed up the process of excreting the spellstone:

If they are terrified in a situation they have a 3-in-6 chance of crapping out a random spellstone they are currently digesting, early.

If they take a laxative they can reduce the amount of hours it takes to defecate the stone by 1d4 hours and take that many points of damage. 

1d6 Wizard Entrails. You find...

  1. Nothing but disgusting smells and dehumanizing trauma.
  2. Two random spellstones, uncharged.
  3. A random spellstone, uncharged.
  4. A random spellstone, only partially recharged. Ingest it and you can evacutate it in 1d3 hours.
  5. A bag of drugs, illegal in the Empire, being smuggled by the wizard.
  6. A random spellstone, fully recharged.



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